{"id":716,"date":"2015-03-25T14:36:24","date_gmt":"2015-03-25T21:36:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/?p=716"},"modified":"2015-03-25T14:39:34","modified_gmt":"2015-03-25T21:39:34","slug":"bible-stories-that-dont-suck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/2015\/03\/25\/bible-stories-that-dont-suck\/","title":{"rendered":"Bible Stories That Don&#8217;t Suck"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Way, way back in 1994, my cohort <a href=\"http:\/\/www.comics-for-grownups.com\/sam-battin.html\">Sam Battin<\/a> and I put together our very first comicbook.\u00a0 It was a foldover xerox affair, a minicomic or zine-sized B&amp;W called:<\/p>\n<p>SPIDERS IN THE OINTMENT<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_727\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-727\" style=\"width: 553px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SITO-cover-99.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-727\" alt=\"spiders in the ointment\" src=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SITO-cover-99.jpg\" width=\"553\" height=\"711\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SITO-cover-99.jpg 553w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SITO-cover-99-116x150.jpg 116w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/SITO-cover-99-233x300.jpg 233w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 553px) 100vw, 553px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-727\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Spiders in the Ointment, c 1994\/2015 Battin &amp; Dudak<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>No idea which of us came up with that title or why.\u00a0 In my philosophy, absurd things need no justification other than that they make one smile, snigger, of guffaw in wonder.\u00a0 I&#8217;m guessing that when we we&#8217;re 23 and high on life, this probably did.<\/p>\n<p>So, Sam did one comic, I did one, and we collaborated on the third with him as writer and me as drawer.\u00a0 The one that I did was called Bible Stories That Don&#8217;t Suck, and I have scanned in a few panels, cleaned them up a bit, and present some to you here.\u00a0 I won&#8217;t put up the whole thing for the sake of our individual mystiques, to shroud our past in a savory effluvium of curiosity, figuratively.\u00a0 Maybe someday, somewhere, someone will dig that thing up and present it at our 50th anniversary retrospective art show, if the world lasts that long.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-03.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-728\" alt=\"Bible Stories That Don't Suck\" src=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-03.jpg\" width=\"774\" height=\"705\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-03.jpg 774w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-03-150x136.jpg 150w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-03-300x273.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 774px) 100vw, 774px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_730\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-730\" style=\"width: 433px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-01.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-730\" alt=\"Bible Stories That Don't Suck\" src=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-01.jpg\" width=\"433\" height=\"673\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-01.jpg 433w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-01-96x150.jpg 96w, http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Bible-99-pn-01-193x300.jpg 193w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 433px) 100vw, 433px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-730\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bible Stories That Don&#8217;t Suck, c 1994\/2015 Dudak &amp; Battin<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The reason I&#8217;m doing this is because I found much better content on the same story from the Bible, on youtube.\u00a0 A motion comic, I guess.\u00a0 It&#8217;s really enjoyable, and totally <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">NOT SAFE FOR WORK.<\/span>\u00a0 I feel like I shouldn&#8217;t have to warn you as I think you&#8217;re safest assuming all my work is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">NSFW<\/span> because fuckity fucking fuck-a-duck, you dicks.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"580\" height=\"327\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/bar3GOzDNzg?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Lovin&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>F<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Way, way back in 1994, my cohort Sam Battin and I put together our very first comicbook.\u00a0 It was a foldover xerox affair, a minicomic or zine-sized B&amp;W called: SPIDERS IN THE OINTMENT No idea which of us came up with that title or why.\u00a0 In my philosophy, absurd things need no justification other than [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,6,118,8],"tags":[45,119,132,117,14,120,107,121,122],"class_list":["post-716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics","category-musings","category-review","category-video","tag-apostate-mansion","tag-bible","tag-comics","tag-comix","tag-fort-dudak","tag-lot","tag-sam-battin","tag-spiders-in-the-ointment","tag-the-professor-brothers"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1srfS-by","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/716","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=716"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/716\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":735,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/716\/revisions\/735"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=716"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=716"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fortdudak.com\/apostatemansion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=716"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}